


Torn to Tattered

by GottaHaveAName



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: AU, F/M, Healing, Jack/Beverly relationship is temporary, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-08-07 23:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16418216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GottaHaveAName/pseuds/GottaHaveAName
Summary: Beverly Crusher is an abused wife who makes the decision to leave with her child.  Years of threats, violence, and broken promises haunt she and Wesley as they make a new life.  Mentions of abuse, and any abuse "shown" will be in flashbacks and will not be graphic.





	1. Chapter 1

Beverly sat next to her son's bed and trembled with rage. He'd promised. Every time he'd gotten angry and hit her, he'd promised to never hurt their son. Now the boy had a large welt making it impossible to see his eye, and Beverly was concerned that his vision would be permanently damaged.  
  
She debated taking him to the hospital first, but had witnessed several occasions in which that proved problematic. She chewed her thumbnail for a moment as she considered talking to her superior, Dr Quaice. He'd already given her the information about the battered women's shelter where he volunteered when she'd shown up for work with a bruise she thought she'd healed. He'd not be impressed if brought in her bloodied son. The shelter won simply because she could get safety and medical care. It would be an added bonus if Dr Quaice was there.  
  
Beverly sat wondering when she'd become accustomed to abuse. Why had she not realized how bad things were? Her hand shook as she ran her fingers through her hair.  
  
The first time Jack had yelled at her, she'd ended their relationship. She couldn't even remember what had upset him, but he'd come around and apologized. She'd given him a second chance. Her friends teased her about being the luckiest cadet in their class, and she buried that niggling thought that he'd not ever change.  
  
The second time he'd yelled, he'd chased her down in the shuttle bay in front of Jean-Luc and Walker and had pulled her aside, apologizing immediately and promising to never do it again. The third time, he said he was acting out of anger with his job.  
  
Then her thoughts turned to the first time he'd hit her. Why did she stay? She didn't know if she'd ever be able to answer that question. Over the years, she had made excuses for his outbursts of temper and had carefully concealed the wounds and bruises he left behind. Not even Jean-Luc, her best friend, knew.  
  
She felt shame well up inside her as she brushed hair from Wesley's forehead and he cried out in pain. She sighed. “I’m sorry, Wes.”  She left Wesley on the bed and hurried out to her computer console.  
  
"Computer, access women's services." Twenty minutes later, after packing up some of their belongings, Beverly picked Wesley up from where he slept fitfully and cradled him close.  
  
She still stung with wounded pride from the series of questions the kind woman on the other end had asked regarding law enforcement involvement and her decision to not involve his ship's captain until they were away. Despite knowing she'd be long gone before her husband came home again, his oft-repeated threats against her, Wesley, and even Jean-Luc rang in her ears.  
  
The first time Jack threatened Wesley, he was still in his crib.  
  
_"Jack!" Beverly's shocked voice rang loud in the nursery. His fist connected with her shoulder once more, and she fell into the wall, sobbing as she collapsed._  
  
"Don't you ever talk back to me again!" His finger shook near her nose.  
  
"Don't hurt my son.  Please.”  
  
"Fine." He'd grabbed her hair and pulled her head to the side. "You'd better be sure he stays quiet."  
  
Beverly had nodded and gotten up to tend to the now-screaming infant, her shoulder screaming in agony as she picked up the child and held him close to sooth him. Jack stared at her with disgust before storming out of the apartment.  
  
Later that night, he'd come home and kissed her, apologizing for his behaviour over and over as he made love to her. She trusted his promise to never hurt their son. He blamed his outburst once again on a project going wrong on the ship, and Beverly chose to believe him even though Jean-Luc always said Jack was an exemplary officer.

Beverly gave Wesley a kiss on his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Baby. I’m sorry he hurt you." Beverly wondered if she should leave some kind of message behind for Jean-Luc, but she was afraid Jack would find it and she worried Jean-Luc might believe whatever lie Jack conjured up.  She adjusted the strap on her bag and held Wesley tightly as they disappeared in the shimmer of a transporter beam.  
  
Beverly and Wesley rematerialized in a brightly lit hall. The same kind woman she'd been speaking with to arrange for safety was the only person she could see. A feeling of panic washed over her, and it must have shown on her face.   
  
"Don't worry." The woman's hand went out. "We just need to get a couple of things settled, and then we'll transport you and your son to a safe house. This is just a short time for you to take a deep breath."  
  
"What things do we need to get settled?"  
  
"I have forms granting us permission to file charges against your husband once you are in a safe place. I'll go over those with you and ask you to sign them." She looked sadly down at Wesley. "We'll also need you to sign a medical consent form so that he can be examined and treated with or without you present."  
  
"Why wouldn't I be present?" Beverly held Wesley closer.  
  
"We often get a doctor to check injured children during this paper work time."  
  
"Is there any way to know what doctor he'll see?"  
  
"Yes." The lady smiled. "We feel it's important for you to have as much information and control as possible. When you requested help, I sent out a message to several of our volunteer doctors. Would you like Dr. Fangut, Dr. D'sloy, or Dr. Quaice? They have all volunteered."  
  
"Dr. Quaice, please." Beverly sagged a bit. "He's the one who told me about this place."  
  
The lady smiled and tapped her badge, sending a message to the physician. She motioned towards her desk and asked Beverly to sit.   
  
"Before we go any further, my name is Alicia. I'm so glad you're here so we can help you."  
  
"Thank you." Beverly looked down. "I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to ask for help. I didn't realize..."  
  
"You didn't realize how much trouble you were really in."  
  
"No." Beverly's face crumbled and she sobbed into her child's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Alicia came around her desk and knelt at Beverly's side.  "I know how you're feeling." Her voice held a deep compassion. "I didn't come until one of my children had been hurt, either. I had begun to believe I deserved to be hurt, so long as my children were safe." Beverly nodded. "It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling, but please try to remember that no one ever deserves to be mistreated. No matter what."

#####

Jean-Luc growled with frustration as his Chief Engineer struggled to maintain balance in the warp drive.  The Stargazer had been ordered back to Earth for some upgrades, and the ship wasn’t responding as they’d expected. 

“Report!”  He snapped out at his bridge crew.

“We’re losing integrity.”  Hawthorn pushed buttons and toggles at his console, dictating movements and work to his crew.  As he finished speaking, the automated warning system sounded.

“All hands, abandon ship!”  Picard shouted the order and watched as his staff scrambled to the bays.  There was only a skeleton crew aboard, and for that, he was thankful.  There would be no lives lost.

“I can fix it!”  Jack’s voice rang out over the COMM system from where he worked with the second in command of Engineering.

“All hands abandon ship!  That includes yours!”  Jean-Luc shouted as he headed to his own escape pod.

“It won’t take long, and it will save the ship!”

“You are disobeying a direct order!”  Picard paused a moment outside of his pod.  “Where is Commander Zantan?”

“He’s already gone!”  Picard nodded to the Commander in question, who ducked into his pod seconds later.

“Get up here, Crusher!”

“I can do this!” 

Picard boarded his ship, recording the necessary information to press charges for a court martial against the Lieutenant.  Good friends or not, the man had crossed a line that could not be crossed without consequences.  He launched his pod and sped away, verbally logging a formal reprimand that would remain in Jack Crusher’s file.  His pod rocked with the force of the Stargazer’s explosion.

“Jack!”  He waited for a reply.  “Lieutenant Crusher!”  There was only silence.

#####

Beverly smiled as Wesley entered the room with Dr. Quaice. 

“I’m all better, Mommy!” 

“He had a fractured socket, but it’s all repaired, and there’s no permanent damage.” 

“Thank you.”  Beverly moved her hands while Wesley climbed into her lap.  “For everything.”

“I’m glad to see you’re safe.”  He ruffled Wesley’s hair.  “Please consider my wife and I safe contacts.”  He met Beverly’s eyes.  “You’ll be permitted to make contact with someone in a few months.  I know you’re far from family.  Please consider us family if you need us.”

“I will.  Thank you.”  

Alicia stood and shook Dr. Quaice’s hand before motioning toward the door.  “Are we ready?”

“Yes.”  Beverly wiped a tear away from her face. 

“Wesley, do you understand what’s happening?”

“We’re gonna go be safe from Daddy.”  He burrowed his face into Beverly’s chest after speaking. 

“It’s ok to miss him.”  Alicia crouched and rubbed his lower leg gently.  “It’s even ok to be mad at him for being so naughty that you need to go be safe.”

 

“I’m mad that I can’t see Uncle Jean-Luc anymore!” His hands clutched at Beverly’s shirt and tears sprung to Beverly’s eyes at the thought of having to abandon the man who was more of a father to Wesley than his own.

“I know, Wes. Me too.”

“Is he your brother?” Beverly softly smiled.

“No. Just a...very close friend. Wesley,” Beverly choked on her words, “Wesley is very close to him. So am I.” Her last bit came out as a whisper and Alicia wondered if there was more to the story there. She plastered a smile on her face.

“Maybe one day, you’ll get to see him again.  Maybe one day it’ll be safe.”  Both Wesley and Beverly nodded. 

Alicia stood and walked to the door.  This was perhaps the worst part of her job.  Until this moment, women and their children had the option to walk away, and sometimes they did.  Sometimes the fear of leaving their friends and other family behind was greater than their fear of their abuser. 

“We have your quarters ready for you, if you’re ready.” Her heart lifted a bit as the young mother stood and followed the social worker to the door.  She shook hands briefly with her former supervisor, and quietly went to the transporter pad. 

“We’re ready.”  With another silvery shimmer of light, Beverly and Wesley were gone from the office and whisked away to safety at a location not even Dr. Quaice knew.

“I already put a request for a suspension from service for her based on family crisis.”  Dalen spoke into the silence. “She can come back to service after two years without losing rank.”  He cleared his throat.  “There will be a lot of advances she’ll have to catch up on, but I have faith in her.  She’s strong.”

“That she is.”  Alicia went to her desk and push a button, transmitting the forms pursuing legal action against Jack Crusher to their legal department.  “They’ll find their feet.”

#####

Jean-Luc tried to reach Beverly on the COMM system, but couldn’t connect.  He tried to leave a message at Wesley’s school for Beverly to reach him, but the school told him Wesley hadn’t made it to class that day. 

Jean-Luc sat back, worrying his lower lip before he reached for his COMM panel again and called her work station.  He knew she was off, as this was her day off rotation, but perhaps they would have an idea. He requested her office from the Startfleet operations unit, and then for her specifically once he was transferred over.

“How can I help you?”  Dalen Quaice’s face filled the screen.

“I need to reach Beverly Crusher.”

“I’m sorry, she’s not on duty today.”

“I know, but I’m hoping someone will know where she is.”  Jean-Luc swallowed hard. “Jack died this morning.  I can’t…” He looked at the man on the screen helplessly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.  “I can’t find her.”

“I’m sorry, Captain.”  Dalen felt sorry for the man and wondered why Beverly hadn’t told him about the abuse.  He shrugged internally, acknowledging that she had her reasons.  Quaice wanted to tell him where she was, but he’d made a promise and wasn’t about to compromise the brave young woman he’d helped escape. “I don’t know where she is.”

“If you see her, can you have her reach me?”

“If I see her, yes.”  Dalen knew it’d be months before he saw her again.  By then, he’d know if Jean-Luc Picard was dangerous to her or not.

“Thank you.”  Jean-Luc ended the transmission and sat back, covering his face with his hands.  He drew in a deep breath to steady himself before losing control of his emotions and sobbing.  He missed Jack, but not knowing where Beverly and Wesley were tore his heart in a way he couldn’t express.

A message dinged on his console, and he opened it quickly, hoping it was Beverly.

Color drained from his face as he read the charges against his deceased Lieutenant.  A list of Beverly’s injuries over a course of years along the one torso-wide bruise that was obviously a set of fist prints along with a statement made by Dalen Quaice from when he healed the spot had him feeling ill, but the next photo of Wesley with a swollen eye and nose had him heaving into his waste basket.

He forced himself to look through the rest of the file. Once Beverly had spoken to Quaice the first time, she’d kept a careful record of her bruises and a few cracked bones. How had she hidden this?  Why had she not told him?  How had she hidden the many times she’d had broken bones and bruised organs?

Horror set in, low in his gut, as he realized that perhaps Beverly and Wesley weren’t answering because Jack had found out that she’d pressed charges before reporting back for duty.  It would explain why he’d been surly and rude all day.  It also explained why he’d insisted on trying to save the Stargazer… the commendation that would have gone into his file for service above and beyond the call of duty would have looked good in court.

Jean-Luc went from missing his friend to reviewing every moment he’d ever spent with the man and his family.  What clues had he missed?  A Jack he didn’t know became a repulsive enemy in his mind.  He reached out a finger and gently touched Beverly’s face in one of the photographs, wincing as he reached the point where an ugly bruise began.

He had to find them.  Even if Jack had … he couldn’t say it.  Picard swallowed hard and signed off on a posthumous court martial for the abuse.  If Beverly and Wesley were still living, they would need the resolution of this case.  If they weren’t… he didn’t even want to think about that.

Jean-Luc reached out with a shaking hand and pressed his COMM unit, requesting another session with Dr Dalen Quaice. When the older man answered, Jean-Luc wasn’t sure where to start.  He picked up the file with Beverly’s face on the front, allowing a tear to slip down his face.

“I can’t find them.”  His voice broke.  “I had no idea…”  He stopped speaking as sobs made his chest shake. “I don’t know what…”

“Please believe me when I tell you they are safe at the moment.”

“Where are they?”

“I can’t tell you that.”  Dalen looked away for a moment.  “Beverly finally took my advice and went to a women’s shelter this morning.  I can’t tell you which one, and I shouldn’t have even told you that much, but it’s obvious that you care.” 

“How long was this going on?”

“Long enough that she should have left years ago.”

“You helped her?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”  Jean-Luc drew in a deep breath.  “I need to find them.”  He cleared his throat.  “I had no idea this was going on.  I-I hate that she suffered this and didn’t think I was a safe person to come to.”

“You were her husband’s best friend.”  Dalen’s expression begged Picard to understand.  “She didn’t know if you knew of the abuse or not.  What lies was Jack telling you to make it seem acceptable for him to hit her?”

Jean-Luc felt ice water pour down his spine.  He’d not even considered the aspect of how this had changed her mentally and emotionally.  Guilt ate at him through the rest of their quiet conversation.

“Good luck in finding her, Captain.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Their transmission ended, and Jean-Luc sat back, staring at the darkened monitor long after his duty shift ended.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gotta admit, it's sappy, fluffy, and fairly poorly written, but I'm enjoying myself. :)

Jean-Luc sat in Beverly and Wesley’s old quarters. He’d already recycled everything that had belonged to Jack. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so hasty, but he felt as if the man’s belongings had been somehow tainting everything in their proximity.

He swirled a shot of scotch in the glass he held while looking around and thinking.  He decided that Wesley would probably want his toys and books.  In looking around the room, he realized that everything had been purchased by himself or Beverly.  How had he missed the fact that Jack had never contributed to the décor? 

Jean-Luc finished his drink and replicated a box.  He began packing Wesley’s books, and found himself sitting on the little boy’s bed, reading several of them before he put them away.  Memories of nights spent cuddled next to him, reading, answering childish questions about pictures, and talking about what they’d do the next day swam through his mind.  Tears filled his eyes as he looked back on those times with new eyes.  Wesley had never asked what they’d be doing with Jack.  Wesley always wanted to know what he’d be doing with _him._   Jean-Luc felt guilt settle over him like a heavy blanket. 

Shaking himself from the desire to wallow in his sorrow, he ran his hand lovingly over another book and began packing the rest quickly.  Perhaps he’d find them soon and he and Wesley could unpack the books together.  With the same steely resolve, he packed the child’s toys in a second box.

His resolve was interrupted as he pulled out an old, broken down box he’d found on one of his first archeological digs as a cadet.  It was known that the professors had “salted” the site, or spread around “artifacts”, that if found, belonged to the cadet who located them.  His find that day had been an ancient Terran game called “Hi-Ho-Cherrio.”  He’d given it to Wesley as a present when he was three.  Three years later, the game was still among his boy’s favorite. 

_“Play with me, Unca Jean?”  Four year old Wesley had stood at the end of the couch with a hopeful expression on his face._

_“Let me finish this.”  Jean-Luc was completing a quick repair for Beverly.  “Can you play with your Daddy for a few minutes?”_

_“No.”  Wesley’s little chin had wiggled, and he sat at the end of the couch, curled into himself as if trying to disappear._

_“Don’t worry, little guy.”  Jean-Luc had smiled at the quirky kid he called his nephew.  “I’m almost done.”_

_“Is that for Mommy?”_

_“It sure is.”  Jean-Luc proceeded to explain the basic mechanics behind the repair while he finished the last few steps.  “Alright, I’m done.”  He smiled at the now-calm child.  “Got your game?”_

_“Yeah!”  Wesley had run to the end of the couch and pulled up the toy._

_“Are you sure you want to play that one?”_

_“Yes.”  Wesley jumped up and down a bit.  “With you!”_

_“Well, bring it on over!”_

They’d counted and collected cherries for what seemed like forever for the older man.  Looking back through the knowledge of abuse, he could see how Wesley had been desperate for affirmation and encouragement.  His face glowed every time he got one right and Jean-Luc cheered, but crumpled if he made a mistake.  He sat heavily on the bed once more, lost in sorrow for the many missed clues that had been before him for years.  He drew in a ragged breath while silently promising Wesley that they’d play the game once more. 

He eventually went back to packing and couldn’t help but wonder if any of them had come from Jack.  Memories of his own toy box filled his mind as he closed the lid on Wesley’s stash, and he wondered how it was that he’d never noticed how few toys he’d had.  It weighed heavy on his heart that Beverly had not opened up to him.

His next task was sorting through Wesley’s dresser.  He kept out the two pairs of pajamas he knew the child favored.  He set them in a third box and rifled through the tiny shirts and pants before deciding to recycle what was left.  He had what he knew were Wesley’s favorite outfits, yet it made him worry all the more.  Had they left for safety, wouldn’t Beverly have packed his favorites?  Or had they left so fast that she didn’t have time?  Jean-Luc felt an uneasiness he couldn’t release. 

He picked up the three boxes and left, feeling the need to distance himself from the now-oppressive rooms.  Wesley’s room was empty, save for his standard issue dresser, child’s bed, and closet shelves.  Even the boy’s nick-knacks had been sorted and packed or recycled, based on Jean-Luc’s memory of his joy or ignoring of them.  He set his heavy load down and returned to the boy’s room.  He drew in a quietly shaking breath before leaving and shutting the door on it.  He felt as if he’d shut the door on the hope of finding the little one, so he cracked it open, unable to face the empty space where laughter had once rang from.

With a determined step, Jean-Luc Picard picked up the boxes and headed to his storage locker at Starfleet headquarters. 

“Ben Zoma to Picard.”  He had just finished setting the boxes in their new home when his COMM badge sounded.

“Picard here.”

“Sir, what should I do with Jack Crusher’s personal effects from his office?”

“What are they?”

“A historical reference book, two on stellar cartography, and a book from the command course he was taking.”

“No pictures of his family or anything of that nature?”

“No, Sir.”

“Recycle it all.”

“Sir?”

“I don’t even want to see it.” Jean-Luc reigned in his anger.  “There’s no need, unless a request for his personal effects has been made by the legal department.”

“No, Sir, but they have been here to question us.”  Ben Zoma sounded confused for a moment.  “They asked after your location and I told them I was unsure.”

“That’s alright.”  Picard nodded.  “I’ll contact them.”

He ended the transmission and sat heavily on a footlocker.  He tapped his badge and requested a link to the lawyer who was handling Beverly’s case.

“Picard to Louvois.”

“Louvois speaking.”

“Jean-Luc Picard.” 

“Captain, I was wondering if I could question you regarding anything you may have noticed over the years.”

“Had you asked me three days ago, I’d have said you were nuts to believe that Jack abused his family.”  Jean-Luc’s voice held the despair he felt.  “Today?  I’m reexamining every moment I ever spent with them.”

“Would it be possible to meet with you?”

“Yes.”  He looked at the small pile of Wesley’s belongings.  “I’m cleaning out their apartment.  Neither of them had family, and we always agreed…”  His voice caught.

“I’ll meet you there in one hour. Louvois out.”

Picard left his storage unit and returned to the former Crusher home. He packed a few of Beverly’s belongings while waiting for the lawyer to arrive.  Remorse washed over him.  How had he not noticed how sparse their home was?  After getting rid of Jack’s things, there had been almost nothing of hers in sight.  Where had she hidden all of her family’s heirlooms? 

The door chime sounded, and he called out “Come!” in a far angrier voice than he’d intended.

“Are you alright?”          

“No.”  He shook his head as he looked helplessly around.  “I’m furious with myself.  I’m going over every single interaction I’ve had with her for the past ten years and feeling as if I’ve been misled.  Did she mislead me, did I mislead myself, or was the truth directly before me and I refused to see it?”

“Deception happens for a variety of reasons in abuse cases.”  She sounded sympathetic, yet her eyes seemed cold.  Jean-Luc wasn’t sure he liked this woman.  Phillipa pulled a PADD from her valise and set it on the table. “I’m going to be recording our conversation from this point forward.”  He nodded.

She hit the record button and began speaking.  “Phillipa Louvis, speaking with Jean-Luc Picard, regarding the allegations of abuse against Commander Jack Crusher. Captain Jean-Luc Picard, do you hereby agree to be questioned?”

“I do.”

“You are not considered guilty in any aspect of the abuse allegations, nor will you face investigation unless it is deemed necessary after review of this interview.  Do you understand these terms?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Very well.”  She cleared her throat.  “Did you ever see any abuse first hand?”

“No.”  Picard shook his head.  “Back when they were dating, I saw him chase her down and apologize to her for something.  It seemed odd, so I asked her about it later.  She said he’d had a bad day and seemed to believe I’d know why.”

“But you did not see any abuse.”

“No.” 

“Did she ever make any comments that led you to doubt her safety?”

“Not really.”  He looked down at his hands.  “She had a bruised cheek once, and I brushed her hair aside to ask why.  She flinched away and looked to Jack before answering.  I didn’t even think about it then.  Now I wonder if she was trying to see if it was safe to tell me anything.”

“Did she say how she was injured?”

“Yes.  She said a drunken officer had come in and struck her.”

“Did she name the officer?”

“No.  That would have violated confidentiality.”

“So you did not ask.”

“No.  Her direct supervisor may know.”  Luovis nodded.  “You don’t think she actually got hurt at work, do you?”

  
“Having already spoken with her former supervisor and verified that she received no injuries at work, no.  I do not.”

“The broken arm?”  He listed off injuries that had been attributed to various activities outside the home, and with each, the young attorney shook her head after consulting notes.  There had been no injuries at Starfleet Medical, none in the gymnasium… Picard stood and paced the living room, his arms crossed and expression stormy.  “Why didn’t she come to me?  Why didn’t she…”  He motioned helplessly before sinking into his chair again.  “I could have helped her.”  His eyes begged for answers that Phillipa Louvis couldn’t give.

“I’m sorry.”  She patted his arm and ran her hand down to hold his for a moment.  “I need to ask you a few more questions.”

“Alright.”

“The time you spoke of before, when they were dating, and you questioned her, do you recall what you noticed that made you feel concerned for her safety?”

“Jack had come on duty with bruised knuckles.”  Jean-Luc felt bile rise in his throat.  “Beverly was walking slowly, almost like every step hurt, and then she flinched away from Jack when he got close.”  He swallowed hard to keep from being ill.  “He hit her, didn’t he?  He bruised his knuckles on her and she didn’t feel like she could come to me.” 

Jean-Luc raced for the bathroom, standing over the sink as he gagged. 

Two hours later, when Louvis finally left, Jean-Luc Picard felt as if his chest had been ripped open.  She had questioned him on every aspect of their life, including the time he’d spent with Wesley.  He had described playing games with the boy, and a slow realization that he never saw Wesley interact with his father in a boisterous way settled on him like a shroud.  Picard found himself telling her his revelation regarding the boy’s behavior. 

Jean-Luc left the apartment that felt so cloistering.  He sat at his own table, sipping a glass of brandy, and reliving moments from his childhood.  A single tear fell from his eye as he reprimanded himself for ignoring signs he had the experience to see.

#####

Beverly sat in their small room next to Wesley.  He was taking a nap, and she was using the time to catch up on the latest novel being passed around the complex.  With a sigh, she closed the book and leaned her head back.  Tears streaked down her cheeks as she wondered if it was safe to call anyone yet. 

Down the hall, she could hear two women fighting. She crossed her arms, looking over at her son.  When did he learn to sleep through screaming and shouting?  Had she and Jack fought that much?  A loud thump echoed off the wall, causing her to jump, but Wesley only made a face before rolling over.

Beverly felt crushed by remorse again.  How many times did she lie to Jean-Luc?  How many times could she have taken the chance to be honest with him about where her injuries came from?  But no, she’d lied each and every time, all in an effort to keep him from seeing the bad side of his best friend and officer.  She wondered how many lies Jack had told Jean-Luc by now.  How badly did their friend hate them now?  Had he believed whatever stories Jack created to explain their sudden disappearance?  Would she ever be able to speak to him again and tell her how sorry she was for not giving him a chance to know the truth? 

More shouting was followed by the sounds of several women in a physical altercation.  The sounds of security running through the halls had Beverly shaking.  She realized she was panicking and tried to slow her breathing.  Wesley woke when the shouts and noises grew louder and he whimpered as he crawled into her lap for safety.

“We’re leaving, Wesley.  I don’t know where we’ll go, but we’ll be safe.”

They listened to the sounds of angry women who were dealing with the fallout of years of abuse.  Most of the women in the shelter were timid, kind, and quiet.  The few who weren’t were making life a living hell for everyone else.  Beverly heard the bellowing of the security guards over the last two arguing women and held Wesley closer.  She couldn’t take this much longer. 

No one had hit her or yelled directly at her, but she found that the sounds of strife were enough to make her panic.  She knew Wesley was feeling the strain as well, as he’d begun wetting the bed regularly.  He clung to her more tightly when they walked to meals and nearly sat in her lap as they ate. Physically, they were safe. Emotionally and mentally, they were still in danger.   It was time to follow through with the plan she’d made for when they were free from the system.

Hopefully Jean-Luc would get the message and understand it.

#####

Picard was back in the Crusher home, finishing up the last of the boxes.  He’d been away on a short mission to Betazed, but had kept touch with Phillipa Luovis and the ongoing investigation and posthumous trial for Jack Crusher.  The man had been found guilty of 32 counts of abuse between those verified by medical professionals who had treated Beverly’s injuries over the years. 

“Thirty-two counts?”  Picard felt himself grow light-headed at the thought of her hiding that many bruises, breaks, and damaged organs over she and Jack’s ten-year relationship. 

“Yes, Sir.”  Phillipa rustled some papers as she finished filling the man in on the details of the trial. “We attempted to reach Mrs. Crusher with the results of the trial, only to be told she’d left the complex where she and her son had been.  We’re currently unaware of their location, but will let you know if and when we find them.”

His mind spun again.  What had happened that she’d run?  Would he ever find her in the vast expanse of space?  Would she return to Caldos?  Would she… He absently bid farewell to the young woman and went back to packing Beverly’s belongings. 

Two more boxes were filled before he decided to take a break.  He picked up a book he’d left for her to read months before and headed to the café two blocks away.  He sat and opened the pages, taking comfort in the familiar words of the ancient text before him. Twenty pages in, he sat up straighter and pulled a folded sheet from between the bound pages.  Curiosity filled him as he opened the note and began reading.  At first, the random words made no sense, but as he read them again, hope filled his chest. He read them one more time before summoning his server and asking for his ticket. 

He left moments later, eager to be on his way. His communicator dinged, and he groaned.  Command.

“Picard.”

“Captain, this is Admiral Dougherty.  We have an assignment for you.  Please report to Starfleet Command in one hour.  My office.”  The admiral ended the COMM, and Jean-Luc sighed.  It would take him most of the hour to get there. 

Upon arriving at the admiral’s office, he was greeted by a small group.

“Captain Jean-Luc Picard, this is Ambassador F’Lar and this is Ambassador Z’Pek.  They have asked for an officer familiar with archeology to accompany them while they inspect a potentially contaminated dig.  The suspected alteration of history has become a matter of civil unrest among their people.”

“Of course.”  Jean-Luc nodded to the three men.  “How long do I have to prepare?”

“We have other diplomatic affairs to attend to while here.”  F-Lar spoke quietly, looking intently at Picard.  “We will be leaving in two days.”  He saw a grimace cross Picard’s face.  “This causes you distress?”

“Not distress exactly, but I do need to go get some things handled before I leave for any length of time.”

“Would these things happen to involve the legal proceedings against your former officer that just concluded?”  Dougherty eyed Picard.

“Yes, Sir.”  Jean-Luc figured his time to prepare was now scuttled, but he didn’t want to lie to the man, either.

“Sirs, if I may ask, on behalf of my captain, that he be given two weeks.  I believe this will give you ample time to be back and available?”

“Indeed.”   

“Granted.  Z’Pek nodded.  “Two weeks is acceptable.”

Jean-Luc voiced his thanks before turning to leave the meeting. 

“Just a moment, Captain.”  Admiral Dougherty spoke quickly while shaking the hands of the ambassadors.  He bid them farewell before motioning for Picard to sit once more.  “I assume you’re on your way to visit a certain young woman?”

“I am.”  Jean-Luc nodded and pulled the paper from his pocket.  “She left me a clue.  I think I know where they went.”

“I can’t tell you what to do, but I can make the offer of allowing you to take your family with you on your mission.  It’s going to be a lengthy one.”

“Sir?”

“Look, I don’t care if it’s in name only, if you two have had something going on for years, or if you want to tell me it’s none of my business.  I’m simply granting you permission to take your family, as in your wife and step son on a mission with you.  I don’t even need to know when you got married.”

“Yes, Sir.”  Picard smiled as he rose.  “I’ll see if I can’t find some family to take along and keep me company.”

“Good luck.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean-Luc finds Beverly and Wesley, and the fallout of trauma begins.

Beverly had chosen the cottage on the off chance that Jean-Luc would remember visiting it years before. Hopefully he'd find and understand her message...and come alone. She knew Jack had long since forgotten about the small lodge. She sighed deeply, glad that their seclusion meant safety, even if it was incredibly lonely. They had rented the house under her maiden name to help add a level of safety.

Wesley had begun to settle, but she had to face the harsh reality that they were both suffering from PTSD.  She felt a deep sense of guilt every time Wesley reacted to a noise or she snapped at him. It seemed they were doomed to unintentionally trigger reactions in one another.  Fear kept her from seeking help. Fear of Jack. Fear of being found. Fear of more hurt. Fear of having Wesley taken away because she feared being labeled an unfit mother.  

They were sitting together on the porch, cuddled up in a blanket against the late autumn chill when Wesley pointed at a figure walking across the field. "Who's that?" 

"I don't know." Beverly felt her unease grow while trying to project calm. "Why don't you go inside, hm?"

"What if he hurts you?"

"Then you run to the Emerson's and ask for help." She cradled his terrified face in her hands. "You're so brave, honey. You can do this." 

"Ok, Mommy."

Wesley went inside and hunkered down on the other side of the window where he could hear but not be seen. He felt like he'd throw up before the man reached the porch, and he felt shame when he realized he'd wet himself at the sound of heavy boots on the porch. "Jean-Luc," he heard his mother's quiet gasp. 

"My God. You're alright." The man's voice was choked with emotion, and Wesley carefully stood to peek out the window. Jean-Luc saw the movement and turned to him. He smiled gently and made a "come" motion with his hand. "Hello, my boy." Wesley looked over to his mother for direction. She nodded and held out her hand. Wesley crept to her side, carefully skirting their friend.

"How did you find us?" 

"I've been searching since Jack died." He held up a crumpled sheet of paper.  "Then I found your clue."

“Jack is....dead?”  The words slammed into her and she simultaneously felt free and sad.  

“He is.  I’m sorry.  Or rather, I was sorry --- months ago until I also received notice of his court martial...Beverly, what did he do to you?  Did he hurt Wesley?”  Beverly slowly nodded as her tears trickled down her face.  

Jean-Luc’s immediate reaction was to pull Beverly in close, but he was afraid to do anything that would scare her, so he settled for reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.  “He can’t hurt you anymore.”  He spied the blanket resting across the porch swing and picked it up.  He draped it over her shoulders, making sure that Wesley was covered as well. “Come, sit down. Please?”  He felt Wesley tense as his hand brushed his shoulder, so he crouched down before the frightened child.  “Wesley...you’re safe, I promise.”  

“Promise you won’t yell at me?” 

The older man sadly smiled. “I promise.” 

Wesley stood next to his mother, unwilling to sit in her lap. Jean-Luc looked over and saw the boy's soaked pants and wondered how he’d missed them before.  Wesley realized his uncle had noticed and his face crumpled. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!" He frantically stood and ran for the door.  In his terror, he jiggled the handle but couldn't get it open.  He was openly sobbing by the time Jean-Luc's hand reached over his shoulder to calmly open the door. 

“Shhh. Wesley, you're alright. No one is mad at you." 

Beverly watched, frozen in her seat, as Jean-Luc knelt and drew her son against him, urine soaked clothes completely ignored for the moment. She covered her mouth as she watched him comfort her boy. Wesley melted against his honorary uncle and sobbed. He didn't stop until he was gagging and Jean-Luc was helping him vomit off the side of the porch. Picard had tears running down his own face as he carried the messy child into the house. 

"Let's get you cleaned up, ok?"

"I'm sorry." Wesley wailed against his chest, and Jean-Luc calmly set him on the bathroom floor. 

"I'm sorry too, son.  I'm so sorry I scared you." 

He helped Wesley strip and get into the tub while Beverly removed the soiled clothing. Jean-Luc grimaced down at his own outfit. "I don't suppose you have anything I can wear?"

"I can replicate something." Her voice was quiet and she moved like a ghost through the house. He could practically feel her fear as she walked to the replicator and quietly ordered something similar to what he currently wore.

Wesley looked down at the clothes he wore. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at his mom. Daddy had always made him go to bed as soon as he had his pajamas on. He'd never put them on early once leaving their house. Maybe his uncle was mad at him after all. He shuffled slowly to his bedroom and crawled beneath his blankets. 

"Wesley?" Jean-Luc followed him, Beverly's hand trapped in his. She put her other hand on his arm, asking him silently to stop. 

"Jack..." her voice hitched for a moment.  "Jack always made him go to bed as soon as he had his pajamas on." 

"It's still daylight."

"That never mattered."  Jean-Luc closed his eyes, furious with both himself and his former friend for the pain caused by a simple choice in clothing. 

"Wesley, you don't have to go to bed. I'm sorry.  I didn't know you only wore them to bed. I wear my pajamas to be comfortable.  Please come out.  We haven't had dinner yet."

"I'm allowed to eat?"

"Always."  Jean-Luc knelt to look her son in the eye.  “Even if you’re in trouble, you’ll never have to miss a meal as a punishment, ok?”  The little boy nodded. 

Beverly wiped the tears running down her face, humiliated at the depth of abuse she'd subjected her son to, being lulled into believing it was normal behavior. 

Wesley emerged from his room, tears still standing on his cheeks. Jean-Luc knelt and held out his arms. He motioned and his heart broke as the little boy timidly approached and leaned into his hug. 

"I've got a lot to learn, don't I?" Jean-Luc pressed his cheek against the top of Wesley's head. "Come on. Let's go sit outside again and talk. Is that ok?"

"In my pajamas?"

"Yes.  In your pajamas. You're comfortable, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then why change again?"  Wesley shrugged.  He didn’t know a good answer.

The trio soon found themselves wrapped snugly in the blanket Beverly had brought out before.  Wesley sat on Beverly's lap, while Jean-Luc wrapped his arms around them both.

"How did Jack die?" Beverly broke the silence they'd settled into.

"Disobeying orders." Jean-Luc shrugged. "I was in the middle of recording a formal reprimand for his behavior when a nacelle exploded and he was killed.  He died instantly."

"That's too bad. He deserved to suffer." Beverly shocked herself at the venom in her voice.  Jean-Luc, on the other hand, chuckled.  

"Bravo." He pressed a kiss to the side of her head.  "I was so angry when the papers for his court martial came across my desk. I think that if he wasn't already dead, I'd have gone after him.  At the very least as part of the arresting team, the whole time hoping he'd fight. "He rubbed his hand up and down her arm.  "I feel so guilty for making you feel like you couldn't come to me." Pain filled his features, and Beverly looked away. "Why couldn't you? What did I do to make you doubt that I'd help you?"

"You were Jack's best friend." She swallowed hard. "I was only his wife. I wasn't sure if you'd believe me."

"Just his wife?" Jean-Luc turned her chin gently, getting her to look into his eyes. "You've never been "just" his wife."  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "I'd have believed you."

"I'm so sorry." Beverly broke down, sobbing into her friend's chest.  Wesley clung to her. He finally reached out and laid his hand on Jean-Luc's arm. The older man smiled and ruffled the child's hair. Wesley gave a small smile before leaning back and resting his head on his mother's breast. 

They sat on the porch until dusk fell and the temperature turned colder. Beverly and Jean-Luc replicated a simple dinner before tucking a very sleepy and contented Wesley into his bed. Jean-Luc pulled a book from his bag and Wesley’s eyes lit up with delight.

“You brought my book!”

“I knew it was your favorite.”  Picard playfully tweaked Wesley’s nose, making the boy squirm and giggle.  Jean-Luc began reading as Wesley snuggled into his side.  The balding man smiled as the little one mouthed the words to his favorite story as he read. 

"Good night, son." Jean-Luc pulled the covers up higher on the little boy’s body and carefully eased out from under his head. "Sleep well."  Wesley signed in contentment and hugged his teddy bear close without opening his eyes.  Picard watched him sleep for a moment before leaving the room. 

Jean-Luc closed the door and quietly made his way back out to the living room.  Beverly was staring at the fireplace, but she stood when she heard Jean-Luc’s footfalls behind and she turned to look at him.  Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears.  He strode over to her and stood in front of her, searching her face.  “Thank you,” she managed.  “Thank you for finding us.”  

Jean-Luc drew Beverly into his arms and she stiffened.  He pulled back and noticed the panic in her eyes. “Beverly?”  

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  

Jean-Luc gently cupped her cheek. “Shhh, there’s nothing to be sorry about.  He hurt you.  I understand.  Tell you what,” he said with a small grin, “You lead.”   Beverly managed a small smile and leaned in and kissed him.  Jean-Luc closed his eyes and rested his hands flat against his thighs, resisting the urge to touch her and kiss her back.  When she broke off the kiss, he smiled at her.  “Can I kiss you back?”  She nodded.  Jean-Luc was careful, again, not to reach out and touch her as he gently and reverently kissed her back.  

“Jean-Luc?”

“Yes, my love?”  

“Can we....” she looked up at his eyes before glancing away again.  “Can we go to bed?”  

“Whatever you want. Where should I be?”  

“Wesley is sleeping in your room.”  Beverly reached out and tentatively grasped his hand.  “My room,” she said in a soft whisper.    
Jean-Luc let Beverly lead him into her room, and she shut the door behind them.  She fingered the hem of his sweater.  “Do you want to undress me?”  She nodded.  Jean-Luc lifted his arms for her to slip his jumper off over his head.  She trailed a hand lightly down his chest and then rested her hand over his heart.  He reached up and covered her hand with his. He leaned in and whispered “Are you sure?”   

“Yes.” 

Jean-Luc smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss before he slipped his fingers under the bulky jumper Beverly had wrapped herself in.  He gently tickled her skin as he slowly lifted the garment over her head and tossed it to one side.  “You are so beautiful, Beverly.  Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you aren’t.”  His hand slowly reached for the straps on her bra, and she nodded, letting him reach behind to unhook her bra.  As he slowly revealed her breasts, he held out his hand towards her.

“May I?” She scrunched her eyes shut as Jean-Luc looked down on her.  She knew her breasts were saggy from child-rearing, and they had disgusted Jack. She knew she wasn’t pretty or attractive, and she kept her eyes scrunched closed, waiting for the hurtful words and the painful pinches and slaps.  She daren’t turn her back, lest she get slapped on the bottom, or worse, hit with a belt.

He took note of her nervousness, but hoped she wasn't agreeing to his touch because she thought he'd expect it.  Jean-Luc gently reached for her breasts and rolled her nipples between his fingers.  She gasped, but didn’t tell him to stop.  “So beautiful, so lovely.”  He bent his head and took one of her nipples into his mouth and her eyes flew open.  He was looking up at her and his eyes crinkled in a smile as he lightly sucked on her nipple. She moaned and reached for his head, fingering the fringe at his ears.  Jean-Luc grinned around her nipple and let go with a soft pop and moved to the other side, bringing his hand up to lavish attention on the abandoned breast.  She closed her eyes again, and suddenly pulled away when he gently bit.

“No.”  Jean-Luc let go of her nipples.

“Sorry.”  

“No.  It’s..it’s my fault. I...”  Tears sprung to her eyes and Jean-Luc used his thumb to lightly brush them away. 

“It’s not your fault, Bev. It’s never your fault.”   She nodded, but he could tell she didn’t quite believe him.  

“Would you....Could we...”

“Sweetheart, we can do whatever you want.”  He grasped her hands in his and gave them a squeeze.  Beverly smiled and reached for the fastener on his trousers.  “If you want to remove them, go ahead.”  She nodded and Jean-Luc felt that time was standing still as she achingly slowly managed to pull open the button, lower the zip, and pushed his trousers down past his hips and knees.  He stepped out of them, and Beverly’s eyes were drawn to his arousal, tenting in his shorts.  She reached out a hand and gently cupped him through his shorts and he closed his eyes and let out a low moan. “Oh, Beverly....”    She removed Jean-Luc’s shorts and sank to her knees. 

Beverly was unaware of the vacant expression that had filled her eyes, nor of her shaking breath.   She leaned forward and was about to take him into her mouth when Jean-Luc gently tapped her shoulder.

“Sweetheart, open your eyes.”  

“No.”  Her words came out strained and Jean-Luc could tell she was barely containing her tears. 

“It’s alright, Beverly.  I’m not going to hurt you.  I promise.  Please let me see your eyes?”  

Her eyes slowly opened as she looked up and her blue eyes met his hazel eyes before she let her eyes roam over his body.  He reached out and pulled her back to her feet. She was trembling as he gathered her into a tight embrace. 

"You're terrified." He breathed against her ear as he whispered.  His hands wandered her bare back. "We don't have to do this."

"But..." she stammered, and he cradled the back of her head, helping her relax into his shoulder. 

"Did you think I expected sex for coming?" He choked back a string of swear words at her slight nod. 

"You...Wesley.  You..."

"Love, no." Jean-Luc pressed a kiss to her hair.  "I want to be with you and help with Wesley.  I don't want you to think there's a charge for it.  Especially not your body." He released his hold and stepped back. 

He looked her up and down, lightly running his hands over her chest. "You're beautiful." He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss over her heart. "Exquisite." He smiled softly at her. "How about we get dressed and talk a while. He ran his thumbs over her nipples before picking up his shirt and helping her into it. "I won't be able to think if you’re naked."

She crossed her arms over her chest, humiliation flooding her mind. She sat numbly on the bed while he pulled his pants back on, minus his boxers. 

He joined her and the pair sat in silence until she fell into his shoulder and wept.

Jean-Luc finally moved to sit at the headboard and gently tugged Beverly to sit with him. He continued holding her close as he pondered his next words. 

"I can't stay long." He sighed as he leaned his cheek on her head. "But I don't want to leave you here, either."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm being sent to Betazed for a few months."

"You came to say goodbye."  Her words were devoid of emotion as she started to pull away. He stopped her.

"No," his voice caught, despite his near whisper. "I came to see you and Wesley.  I have no expectations, Beverly, but I'd like to propose something."

"What?"

"If we get married, in name only, if that's what you're comfortable with, you can come with me.  Wesley needs...."

"Wesley needs all the support he can get."

"Yes, and you need support, as well. Maybe we can go to counseling together.  I don't know. But I don't want to leave you alone."

"We'll be alright." She shrank into herself as she spoke. She was shutting down in a way he'd only seen people do a few times before, and it frightened him.

"I'm sure you can take care of yourselves.  You've done amazing." He rubbed her arm, trying to use the friction to bring her back from whatever hole she was sinking into. "I want to help.  Please. Come with me?"

“What if you hate being married to me?"

Jean-Luc gently cupped her cheek. "I won't. I love you."

Beverly fingered the fading duvet and looked down at it. Her voice was strained from holding in her tears. "Jack said he loved me, too."

Jean-Luc resisted the urge to ball up his fists as his eyes flash with anger. "Have I mentioned how lucky that bastard is to already be dead?"

A tiny smile graced Beverly’s lips. "Yes." He chuckled. "Sorry. I'm just so angry at him. How could he hurt the woman he loved? His own son?"

Beverly tentatively reached for his hand. "That's not why I said yes." Realization dawned on him and a slow smile spread across his face.

"Oh?" She nodded. "And, you're sure?"

"I am." He squeezed her hand.

"Can I kiss my bride?" She nodded and when he kissed her he poured all of his love into the kiss. Beverly shifted to straddle his legs and he cradled her close. He broke off the kiss and rained kisses all over her face. "I love you."

"I....I think I love you too."

Jean-Luc smiled at her as he shifted beneath her, bringing them into a reclining position.  She lay partially on him, resting her head on his chest as her leg crossed over his and slid between his thighs and calves.  His hands pressed her back and bottom, drawing her closer to him in a hug before he released his hold. 

“Good night.”

“Night.”  She breathed in his scent before allowing herself to believe that yes, she was safe and could relax.  “Thank you.”  Her whisper ghosted across his skin and he fought the urge to shiver.  He settled for tightening his arms once more before joining her in slumber.

####

Jean-Luc woke when Beverly rose the next morning.  He could hear her talking quietly with Wesley, but couldn’t make out their words.  He dressed before heading out to the kitchen.

“Good morning.”  Beverly blushed as she looked down at her own state of dress.  She’d heard Wesley and was still in her pajamas after making sure he was alright.

“Morning.”  Jean-Luc went to her and put his hand on her hip.  He bent his head, and she met him in a quick kiss.  “Why don’t you go get dressed, and Wesley and I can handle breakfast?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”  His eyes twinkled.  “I’m hoping we can learn some new traditions.”

“We’ll see.”  She could feel her cheeks burning as she headed to her room once again.

Wesley sat staring at him.  The child’s eyes weren’t alive as they once had.  It broke Jean-Luc’s heart to see the fear lurking behind his all-too-serious gaze.

Beverly selected her clothing and began undressing, only to look in the mirror at her hair.  She ran her hands through it and decided to take a shower instead of rushing out to be sure her son was alright.  Jean-Luc had never hurt them before, and he’d seemed earnest in his desire to marry her last night. 

She frowned and looked at herself once more.  He’d called her exquisite.  She ran her hands over her less-than-firm breasts and her widened hips.  Stretch marks marred her abdomen from when Jack had refused to allow doctors to repair the skin damage after she delivered Wesley.  She frowned again and ran her fingers over the scar left from the C-section that had delivered her son safely to her arms.  Perhaps he’d not actually looked at her the night before, or maybe he was trying to soften any future blows.  A small voice sounded in her mind that he’d seen her, all of her imperfections, and hadn’t cared.  He loved her.  She wiped a single tear from her cheek before heading to the shower.

When she turned the water off, she smiled softly at the sound of her son’s giggles.  He’d not laughed, even with her, in months.  Jean-Luc’s rich laughter floated through the rooms, and she felt a peace.  What was he now?  _Is he my fiancé?  Are we engaged, or did we just talk about it with no actual promises made?  Can I do this?  Will I keep waiting for him to be Jack?  Can…_   She stopped herself and took a deep breath.  With her eyes closed, she listened to the sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen and brought to mind all the times when she’d found herself attracted to the man before.  Perhaps it was too soon to consider marriage, but then… would she ever actually be ready otherwise?

Beverly shrugged to herself as she finished pulling on her shirt and went out to join her family.  Wesley’s giggles had turned to squawks of laughter, occasionally pierced with a shriek of excitement.  She stopped dead in her tracks and put one hand on her hip while the other flew to cover her mouth.  Annoyance at the mess battled with joy at seeing her son fearlessly doing battle with their friend. 

She tried to school her features and make her voice sound serious.  “What exactly is going on in here?” 

Her voice sounded over a handful of flour that landed in Jean-Luc’s chest.  He and Wesley turned to look at her, innocence written on their white-powdered faces.  They looked at each other, and Wesley looked afraid for a moment before Jean-Luc looked around with a silly expression.

“Is something wrong?”

“Look at this kitchen!”  She motioned to the flour splattered on the counters, wall, ceiling, and table.  “What are you two doing?”

“We’re making pancakes!”  Wesley seemed to understand that his mother wasn’t actually angry, and giggled once again, his little foot tracing a shy circle in the flour on the floor.

“You’re making a mess is more like it.”  She motioned toward Jean-Luc.  “Who do you think is going to clean this up?”

“Um… a serve bot?”  Jean-Luc waited for just a moment before scooping some flour off of the counter behind him.  He winked at her before lobbing the handful at her.  She sputtered when it hit her face, but could no longer hide her laughter. 

“Oh, that’s it, Mister.”  She gathered a handful from the table and stalked across the floor to Jean-Luc, who had backed into a corner.  Wesley stood with baited breath as she raised her hand.  The little boy trembled for a moment, not sure if their fun was over…

Beverly smeared the flour onto Jean-Luc’s face, laughing as he sputtered and sneezed.  Wesley laughed and scraped some of the flour out of his hair, tossing it high, trying to make it land on her head.  The new family threw flour at each other until they ran out.  Wesley was holding his sides, complaining of how much it hurt to laugh, all while continuing to giggle.

“Hmm.”  Jean-Luc looked at the messy floor.  “Wesley, have you ever made a snow angel?” 

“Yeah.  But it’s not snowing?”

“Nope, we can do flour angels!”  Jean-Luc flopped comically to the floor and began making an angel in the powder.  Beverly rolled her eyes as Wesley dropped and began to mimic the man. 

“What am I going to do with the two of you?”

“Play!”  Wesley laughed as he kicked his legs, completely forgetting the angel he was supposed to be making.  Jean-Luc looked up at Beverly from where he lay on the floor and smiled.  He reached out a hand, and she grasped it, helping him stand.

“We should get cleaned up.”  He pressed a light kiss to her forehead.  “Thank you for not being angry.”

“Why would I be angry?”  She leaned against his chest and looked at her son.  “He’s truly happy for the first time in months.”  She ran her hand down his chest, stopping when she reached his stomach.  “Were you serious about your question last night?”

“Yes.”  His expression changed slightly, but still carried happiness.  “I love you. I meant every word I said.”  He kissed her gently before backing away.  “Come on, Wesley, we need to go clean up!”

The little boy stood up and looked around the kitchen, his cheeks glowing red from laughter.  “But what will we have for breakfast?”  He dissolved into giggles again as his mother rolled her eyes.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings, play, a trip to town, and an engagement all help the family move forward into healing.

“That was fun.”  Wesley stood in the shower with Jean-Luc, both covered in soap as the man tried to scrub the last of the flour out of the little boy’s hair. 

“It was, wasn’t it?”  Jean-Luc grinned in satisfaction as the water stopped running with the white powder and was clear once more.  He hadn’t thought of what a mess flour and water would turn in to.  He should have chosen a sonic shower instead of using water.  “I think we made a big mess, though.”

“Yeeaaah.”  Wesley didn’t sound the slightest bit repentant. 

“Should we clean it up when we get out?”

“I can show you where the bot is!”

“Can you?  Do you know how to make it work yet?”

“No.”  Wesley shook his head as he washed himself as well as any excited child would.  “Mommy doesn’t let me do it, because she says we can’t get another yet if I break it.”

“Have you broken things before?”

“Kinda.”  Wesley sputtered as he splashed himself in the face with water as he rinsed.  “I tried to help her fix her PADD.”  He shrugged as if it was no big deal to tear the cover off of an electrical device.  “She was kinda mad.”

“I’ll bet.”  Jean-Luc grinned.  He liked that Wesley was already showing signs of who he used to be peeking out from behind the fear. 

“I’m done!”  Wesley opened the curtain and bounced out of the shower, eager to dry and get dressed.  He was hungry, and the added bonus of learning to use the serve bot was enough to have the little one hurrying. 

He arrived in the kitchen before either adult, and stood, mouth agape at the mess.  He didn’t realize it was that bad.  He started to giggle again, glad that his uncle had come to visit.

Jean-Luc stepped up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders.  Wesley froze for a moment, but then relaxed.

“Are you ready to learn how to turn the bot on?”

“Yeah!” 

“Alright.  Come here, and I’ll leave you to watch this while I go check on Mommy, ok?”

“Ok!”  Wesley watched carefully as Jean-Luc turned the bot on and selected the room he wanted cleaned.  The little boy mentally catalogued each step including the selections of counter, table, floor, ceiling, wall. 

“There you go.”  Jean-Luc patted his tiny shoulder.  “Alright.  You got this?”

“Yep!” 

“Good boy.  I’ll be back soon.  Come get me if it does anything it shouldn’t, alright?  Don’t try to fix it without me here.”

“Ok.”  Wesley sounded as dejected as he looked, and Jean-Luc shook his head as he walked away.  Perhaps leaving the little one with the robot wasn’t a good idea, but he wanted to show the boy that he trusted him.  Maybe trusting Wesley with little things would lead to him trusting Jean-Luc once more.

“You alright?”  Jean-Luc walked into Beverly’s bedroom, closing the door softly behind him.

“Yes.”  She sat on the bed, facing the wall, still only partially dressed.

“What’s wrong?”

“What are we doing, Jean-Luc?”  Her voice cracked.

“What do you mean?”

“What are we doing?  Are we engaged?  Are we friends?  Do you really want to be Wesley’s father?”  She turned to face him, and her eyes met his.  “Are you really ready to deal with all of the baggage we come with?  You don’t know the half of it, I guarantee you.”  She shook her head as she turned back to the wall.

“I’d love to be engaged to you.”  He knelt on the mattress behind her, drawing her back to lean against his chest.  He held her close, not saying anything for several minutes.  When he finally spoke again, his voice was soft. 

“I know I don’t know it all, lovely.  I know.”  He pressed a kiss to the side of her head.  “I know there will be things I need to learn.  I want to learn them.  Please.”  He moved his hands and she trapped them with her own.  “Teach me?”

Beverly leaned back against him and turned her head.  She pressed a light kiss to his jaw, and he moved his head and shoulders, capturing her mouth in a heated kiss.  Her hand came up to tangle in the fringe at the back of his head while she guided one of his hands higher on her abdomen.  He groaned lightly against her as he ran his hand over her partially covered breast, palming her pebbling nipple. 

“I love you.”  He continued kissing her as his fingers slipped under the lacy material, reveling in the feel of her soft skin.

“Uncle Jean-Luc!?”  Wesley’s voice broke into their solitude.  The man smirked against his love’s lips.  He sat up straighter, still not letting her out of his arms completely.

“Yes?” 

“I think it’s full!  It’s making a weird noise!” 

Jean-Luc laughed and released Beverly’s waist.  He nipped her neck, his lips soothing any pain left from his teeth.  “Our son is trying hard to find a reason to get to fix the serve bot.”

“Our son?”  Beverly felt a nerve-wracking hope fill her being.

“I hope you’ll agree to marry me, Beverly.”  He moved and knelt before her on the floor.  He smiled and brushed her hair back.  “You’re so beautiful.”  He pressed a kiss to her chest and could feel her hammering heart.  “I’d be honored to have him as my son.”  With a final chaste kiss to her forehead, he stood and left her to dress. 

When Beverly joined her boys in the kitchen, Jean-Luc had already shown Wesley how to reset the serve bot when it reached capacity, replicated a pitcher of juice, set out three plates of pancakes, and was setting softened butter and warmed syrup on the table.  He smiled at her.

“Welcome to a much cleaner kitchen.” 

“Thank you.”  Beverly walked to him and pressed her lips lightly to his.  He pulled out her chair and she sat.  “I’m ready for breakfast.”  She smiled at her son.  “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”  He nodded and tried to smear butter on his pancake, only to end up with it on his hand instead.  He looked around for a place to wipe it.

“Napkins!”  Jean-Luc rushed to the replicator and procured napkins while Beverly grabbed a towel from the drawer and wiped her son’s hand. 

“I’m sorry.”  Wesley’s chin wiggled, afraid he’d ruined the morning’s fun.

“It’s just a little butter.”  Jean-Luc shrugged as he handed a small pile of napkins over the table.  “Can I help you cut your pancakes?”  Wesley nodded wordlessly.  He watched as his uncle carefully but quickly spread the traitorous butter over his cakes and cut them before pouring syrup over the pieces.  “Here you go.”  Jean-Luc winked at the boy before picking up his own fork. 

Breakfast was relaxed, and Jean-Luc chased Beverly and Wesley out of the kitchen playfully.  He recycled their leftovers and sent the plates and cutlery through the sanitizer.  He was wiping the counters when Beverly came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. 

“Thank you.”  Her fingers traced a light pattern on his stomach.  She bit his ear gently before continuing.  “I’m glad you found us.” she paused.  “I hoped you felt something for us, but I…”  She sighed and rested her head against his back.  “I didn’t know if you knew what Jack did…”

“No.”  His voice was raspy as he turned in her arms.  “I didn’t know.”  He met her gaze, desperate for her to understand.  “I had no idea.”  He grasped her hand before continuing.  “I asked you once, remember?”  She nodded as tears filled her eyes.  She remembered lying to him when he asked how she was injured.  She’d done it many times. 

“Beverly, please believe me.  If I had known, I would have kept you safe.”  He wrapped his arms around her and drew her in close, trapping her arms against his chest as he cradled her.  “I don’t know how, but I would have done anything to protect you and Wesley.  I’m so sorry.”  His tears joined hers as they mourned wasted opportunities from the past.

Wesley wandered back into the kitchen and looked at the adults questioningly.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m hugging your Mommy.  Is that ok?”

“Why?”

“Because I love her.”  Jean-Luc smiled at the confused child.  “I love you, too.  Can I give you a hug?”  Wesley hesitated before seeing the encouraging nod from his mother.  He approached Jean-Luc and raised his arms to be picked up.  Jean-Luc lifted the boy and squeezed him tightly, trying to hide his tears from the boy who once demanded cuddles.  Wesley squirmed in his arms and looked into his face.  His little fingers touched the few tears that had found their way to Jean-Luc’s cheeks.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m so sad that Jack hurt you so much.”

“But you didn’t do it.”

“No, but I’m still sorry it happened.” 

“Oh.”  Wesley laid his head on Jean-Luc’s shoulder and rested on the man he’d missed so much. 

They spent the day together.  Jean-Luc talked Beverly and Wesley into walking in to town with him, and forty minutes later, the trio sat in a small café enjoying a cool drink.  Wesley talked Jean-Luc into pushing him on the old fashioned merry-go-round, and Beverly got them to sit with her to listen to a poetry reading at the library.

The town had grown up hundreds of years ago around a small lake, and they ate lunch at one of the many touristy restaurants that dotted the shoreline.  Wesley pointed excitedly at the various water fowl, only to become incensed when one tried to steal his sandwich.  He stuffed the remaining portion of his meal into his mouth as he glared at the bird in question.  Jean-Luc smothered his smile as Beverly looked on, hoping her goofy son would be able to chew his mouthful.  She breathed a sigh of relief when he finally gulped it down and took a deep breath. 

“That was a big bite!”  His eyes were wide as he looked at her. 

“Yes, it was.”  She chuckled and wiped at his mouth with a napkin.  “Next time, shoo the bird away and take smaller bites, alright?”

“But he wanted my sandwich, and I was still hungry!”     

“We can always buy you another sandwich, Wesley.”  Jean-Luc hoped he wasn’t overstepping his rights.  “Your mother and I don’t want to have you take a bite that’s so big you can’t chew it.  You could choke.”

“Really?”  He looked at his mother for confirmation.

“Yep.”  She nodded.  “That’s why I keep asking you to take little bites at dinner.”

“Oh.”  Wesley shrugged.  “Ok.” 

“Let’s start heading home, shall we?”  Jean-Luc stood.  “We can walk around the lake first, if you’d like.”

“That would be nice.”  Beverly smiled and went to purchase tokens so she could get birdseed out of the various stations along the way.  They had only made the trip once before, and Wesley had been upset that he’d not been able to feed the birds.  She hoped his most recent experience hadn’t dimmed his excitement over the fowl.

She needn’t have worried.  Her son ran ahead of them excitedly, tossing birdseed and running back for new handfuls.  Jean-Luc walked with his arm around her waist.  He occasionally pressed a kiss to her cheek or reached out to ruffle Wesley’s hair.  Beverly squeezed his hand and looked over at him.

“You seem happy.”

“I am.”  He stopped and turned to face her.  “I was afraid I’d never get to have a day like this with you.”

“Hm.”  Beverly leaned in and kissed him.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Mommy!”  Wesley called from where he bent over something in a dip on the side of the walkway. “Come look!”

“And calls the son.”  Jean-Luc smiled. 

“We’ll talk once he’s in bed.”  She kissed him gently once more before heading to look at what her son found so interesting.  

“It’s a turtle!”  Wesley pointed to the little boxer turtle that had flipped over and was on its back.  Its legs moved frantically as it tried to right itself.

“Yes, it is, and it’s stuck.”  Beverly reached down and flipped the creature over.  “See?  Now it can walk like it should.”

“Yeah!”  Wesley cheered as the small turtle made its way to the tall grasses on the side of the water and dipped into the shallows.  “He’s going home!” 

“He is.”  Beverly looked up at Jean-Luc as he approached.  “Wes found a turtle.”

“I saw.”  Jean-Luc grinned.  “Good job in seeing him, Wesley.”  The little boy grabbed his uncle’s hand and told all about finding the animal as if Picard hadn’t been right behind him.

Wesley’s energy began flagging as they neared the end of the lake.  Beverly handed him the last of the birdseed and he tossed it onto the sidewalk, no longer caring if any birds were close enough to scoop it up. 

“Are you tired?”  Jean-Luc reached out for Wesley, and the boy willingly settled onto his uncle’s shoulders.  He yawned and rested his stomach against Jean-Luc’s head.  He began leaning forward, and before long, he was resting fully on his uncle.

“Is he sleeping?”  Picard whispered his question as they neared the cottage.

“He is.”  Beverly smiled.  “He’s had such a fun day.” 

“So have I.”  Jean-Luc took her hand and raised it to his lips.  “What should we do about dinner?”

“He’ll probably not eat much.  He’s so tired, he’ll likely want to sleep instead of eat.  What if we have something light?”

“Sandwiches again?”

“Maybe pizza.  It’s not quite a sandwich but is still finger food.”

Beverly was right.  Wesley woke long enough to argue over taking a bath, as he’d already had one that morning.  He grumbled about getting dressed, and then he groused about sitting at the table and eating.  His pizza was all wrong.  He wanted cheese and no pepperoni, and then he wanted lemonade instead of milk. 

Jean-Luc was wondering when Beverly would reprimand her son when he noticed how quiet it had suddenly gotten.  Beverly smirked and took a bite of her pizza, motioning with her head over to where the little one sat. 

His head was lying on the table while a slice of pizza dangled from his fingers.  His eyes were closed and he’d not finished swallowing the bite he’d been whining over.  Jean-Luc turned wide eyes to his fiancé. 

“What now?”  Beverly smirked as she stroked Wesley’s hair from his forehead. 

“Hey, Kiddo.”  Wesley opened his eyes and sat up a bit, his eyes filling with tears.  “Swallow, sweetie.”  He swallowed and set down his pizza.  “Come on, time for bed.” 

Jean-Luc watched as Beverly carried her son to his room.  He smirked as he watched the boy’s head sink lower and lower towards her shoulder with every step she took.  When she came out minutes later, she laughed and said he’d not even woken when she’d changed him into his pajamas.

####

Beverly and Jean-Luc settled onto the couch that evening. Jean-Luc wrapped an arm around Beverly and she curled against him. She twined their fingers together before speaking. "Thank you for today."

"You're welcome." He turned his head and captured her lips in a kiss. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. I should have put your clues together faster." Beverly shrugged her shoulders.

"I know I said it before, but I wasn't sure you'd come at all." He nodded, remembering her words about not knowing if he had been aware of Jack’s abuse and he felt as though he needed to reassure her he didn’t. He gently squeezed her fingers.

“Of course I was going to come. I love you, Beverly.  Both you and Wes.” They sat in silence for several minutes, both feeling as if they weren't sure of the most important topics to cover. Jean-Luc finally picked one and started. "You said Wes hasn’t smiled much in the past few weeks.”

"I didn't know he'd been subjected to so much abuse. I thought I'd protected him from Jack."

“Is that why he wet himself when I first arrived?” Beverly nodded, tears shining in her eyes.

“He’s been so afraid, Jean-Luc. Any man in uniform roughly Jack’s height sends him trembling. I don’t know how he’s going to cope on your ship.” Jean-Luc filed the bit of information away where Beverly revealed she planned on joining him on the ship.

“I’m sorry.”  He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.  “We’ll have to find ways to help him not be afraid.”

Beverly nodded.  “That would be good.  He’s learned a few, but not nearly enough.”  She sat quietly for a moment.  “The other women in the shelter....some of them weren’t very nice and they would yell and fight with their children and each other. Wesley became withdrawn and when we spoke with one of the councilors, she helped him learn some ways to manage his fears.  Neither he nor I have been to therapy since I decided we needed to leave after...well, it’s not important right now.” Jean-Luc kissed the side of her head.

“Everything is important.  You said you were in therapy as well?”  She confirmed his fears of her lasting trauma. “What can I do to help? I assume it’s some sort of PTSD, but I’m only familiar with it as a result of seeing some battle...but then, I suppose some of the things Jack did to you....” Jean-Luc trailed off, not wanting to bring up the painful memories and he kissed her again. “I understand why you hadn’t told me, but that doesn’t make me stop wishing I had picked up on things and intervened earlier.”

“I know.” Beverly gave a weak smile. “For Wes...just being patient with him for now. You’re doing really good with him. Better than I probably am.”

“What do you mean?” Beverly studied her lap, not wanting to look up and meet Jean-Luc’s eyes, sure that he would agree with her and leave after she spoke.

"I'm a terrible parent, Jean-Luc. I should have known I couldn't keep him from experiencing the abuse. I should have left sooner.”

"You're not a terrible parent, Beverly." He stroked her hair and cupped her cheek. “I think all parents make mistakes.”

She snorted. “Not like this. I’ve subjected him to a lifetime of horrors. I....” She broke down in sobs and Jean-Luc turned her against his chest and pulled her into his lap.

“Shh...we’ll get through this together. Whatever Wesley needs...whatever you need. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Beverly sniffed. “Promise?”

Jean-Luc smiled and kissed her tear-stained face. “Promise.” She grinned back.  They sat talking of inconsequential things for a while, taking a break from the heaviness of abuse. 

"I'd like to go home tomorrow." Jean-Luc pressed another kiss to Beverly's temple. "If you and Wesley join me on this trip, we've got a lot to do." He tightened his hold around her shoulders and leaned his head against hers. 

"Everything we own is here." 

"I kept a lot of your things." He cleared his throat. "Your clothing is in my closet and your knickknacks are in my room in boxes.  Wesley's things are in his room."

"His room?" Beverly turned a bit and faced him, raising an eyebrow. 

"I..." Jean-Luc's ears tinged pink. "I set up his bedroom in my spare room. I wasn't sure if I'd find you, or if you'd want to come with me, but having his things in boxes seemed like I was giving up." He reached up and brushed away a single tear. "You'd understand about the boxes, but he's so young."

Beverly curled into his side again. She stroked his fingers softly as she thought about all he said. Her heirlooms weren't lost. Her art wasn't lost. Wesley's favorite toys were waiting for him. She sighed and nipped at his neck. 

"Thank you." She turned slightly and toyed with the buttons on his shirt.  She waited until he looked back over to her.  "Tell me about it."

"About what?"

"Discovering we were gone. Cleaning out our apartment. Learning about the abuse." She moved to straddle his thighs. "You're sharing our pain.  Let me share yours."

Jean-Luc sat quietly for several minutes. He slid his thumbs under her shirt and traced a light pattern on her sides.  He moved his hand to the middle of her back and urged her forward.  He met her halfway in a searing kiss before he relaxed and returned his hands to her side. 

"Jack had been off all day.  Angry, easily frustrated." He met her gaze with glassy eyes. "I can only imagine that shades of who he really was were coming out." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers once more. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, and she kissed his palm. "He wasn't someone I recognized. He was violent, argumentative, and Beverly, I was considering how to word an official reprimand in his files before the update began to fail."

"What happened?"

"The nacelle overheated because the system restarted before the coolant pump was back online. I gave the order to abandon ship, and he actually argued with me." Jean-Luc shook his head. "I told him to think of you and Wesley and to come, but he insisted he could fix it."  Jean-Luc closed his eyes, steadying himself before continuing.  Beverly ran her hand gently over his chest before pressing her lips to his forehead.  

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know." His voice broke as he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her tightly to his chest. "I was recording a formal reprimand for his permanent file when the nacelle lost integrity." He backed away as far as the couch would let him, desperate for her to understand.  

"I tried to contact you." He swallowed hard, lost in the memory of his fear and confusion.  "I didn't..." His eyes filled with tears. "I couldn't find you, and then the court martial for your abuse came through." He shifted, allowing him to pull her body flush with his. He rested his head on her shoulder, his lips brushing her neck as he spoke. "I thought he killed you." He breathed in her scent for a moment. "I can't tell you how relieved I was when I found out you'd gone into protective custody." His breath came out in a shuddering huff.  "I can't begin to tell you how guilty I felt. How guilty I still feel." Beverly waited for him to continue.  "I don't know how I missed..."

"Because I was always careful to not let you see." Beverly spoke quietly, her lips brushing his ear. "I wasn't sure..."

"If I could be trusted." Jean-Luc finished her sentence and tightened his arms once more.  "I'm so sorry." He apologized over and over into her neck, his voice rough with emotion. 

"It's not your fault."  Beverly held him as he worked out his emotions. 

"I love you." He met her in a passionate kiss. 

Beverly brought their embrace to an end and stood. 

"Come on." 

He followed her to her bedroom, his hand grasped tightly in hers. She shook her hand free and began unbuttoning his shirt. 

"Are you sure?" He clasped her hands in his. 

"Yes." 

He released her hands and drew her shirt over her head. He was still mostly dressed when he laid her back on their bed, worshipping her body. Her hands clutched at the back of his head, twining desperately in his thinning hair as she cried out his name. 

####

Wesley woke and stumbled to his mother's room.  He had a bad dream and needed to be sure his mom was alright. He entered the room in time to see his mom coming from her bathroom wrapped in a towel. He stood still, his waking fear making him wonder if he'd be in trouble for being out of bed.

"Are you ok?" She wrapped him close, and Wesley nodded. 

"I had a bad dream."  He rubbed the damp towel she was wrapped in.  "Did you take a bath?

"I did." Beverly blushed. "Well, I took a shower."  Jean-Luc came into the bedroom wearing only his boxers. 

"Did you take a shower with Uncle Jean-Luc?"

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because sometimes adults do that."

"Oh." He sat quietly for a moment. "Can I sleep with you?"

"How about we try your bed again?"

"Nooooo." Wesley whined his answer. 

"It's ok." Jean-Luc settled into the bed and reached for the little boy. "How about you tell me about your dream?" 

"He was in his uniform." Wesley curled into Jean-Luc's chest while his mother rose to dress. The older man didn't have to ask who the unnamed "he" was, and the knowledge settled in his stomach like a stone. 

"What did he do?"

"He hurt Mommy." Wesley whispered his reply as he stared unseeing at his clenched hands. "He yelled, and he hit her, and Mommy was crying.  He said, "That's what you get when you make me mad! Why do you always have to make me mad? Why can't you just obey me?" 

Beverly gasped as Wesley copied his father's familiar rant in an eerie tone. 

Jean-Luc looked at her, and his face lost all expression for a moment. He didn't want her to think he was angry with her, but rage was mixing with pity for them in their suffering, disappointment in Jack, and self-loathing for not seeing their trauma long before. 

"He's not here, Wes." Jean-Luc found his voice again, just as Beverly began to worry that he had already found the point at which their problems became too much.

"What if he comes back?"

"He can't come back." Jean-Luc leaned back against the headboard and pulled Wesley snug against his chest. The boy leaned in to feel his heartbeat. Jean-Luc ran his hands through his boy's hair and began explaining what death was and how people didn't get to come back from being dead. 

Wesley sat quietly for several minutes after his uncle finished speaking.  Jean-Luc nearly laid him down when he spoke again. 

"I think maybe being dead isn't scary, but I'd be sad."

"You would be sad to be dead?"  Wesley nodded as he yawned. "Why is that?"

"I'd miss Mommy and it's not always scary now."

Jean-Luc's heart broke as he contemplated Wesley's words. He couldn't fathom the emotional distress his soon-to-be stepson faced. He cuddled the boy close and shifted position, lying down so the child would be between him and his mother. 

"I'd be so sad if you died, too.  I'd miss playing games with you." He smiled softly as Wesley looked up at him from where he'd begun to fall back to sleep. "I can't wait to see who you grow up to be."

"Will I be me?"

"Oh, yes." Jean-Luc chuckled. "You'll be you. But will you be a doctor like your mom, or an officer, or a captain like me? Will you be a teacher?" Wesley yawned as Beverly joined them on the bed. 

"I dunno."

"It's ok to not know." Jean-Luc and Beverly had their little one wrapped between them when he settled into a deep sleep. Beverly mouthed "thank you", to which Jean-Luc responded with a blown kiss. 

The couple joined their boy in sleep. Jean-Luc woke first and lay gazing upon his new family.  His fiancée was a strong woman who needed time to heal. He was certain he'd see her grow stronger than she ever believed she could. His little boy broke his heart.  The nightmare Wesley had worried him, and he was anxious to get the pair back into therapy. He felt every jolt of their shared trauma like a wrecking ball in his heart. They had endured so much. As he lay contemplating their future, he found himself wondering how to protect them from any harms in the future. 

#####

Jean-Luc walked into Wesley’s bedroom and surveyed the room. When Jean-Luc arrived, he had brought a few of Wesley’s favorite toys along with him in case he found them and they were now strewn all over the small bedroom. Wesley’s small suitcase was on his bed, unfilled.

“Wes, why haven’t you packed yet? We leave in an hour.”

“Don’t wanna leave.” Wesley crossed his arms and pouted at the older man. Jean-Luc sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Why not?”

“Moving is scary.” Jean-Luc nodded.

“I see. But it can also be an adventure. Don’t you remember where we’re going?”

“Uh-huh. We’re gonna go live in your house an’ then go on a spaceship. I guess that will be kinda cool.” Jean-Luc ruffled Wesley’s hair.

“It sure will. And you know what? You have your own bedroom at my house, and I unpacked all your toys and clothes and even put your favorite blanket on the bed.” Wesley looked up.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Wes...it’s not just my house, it’s your house too.”

“And Mommy?” Jean-Luc grinned. “Of course, and Mommy.”

“It was scary when we left. My eye hurt and Mommy said the people would help us and then they sent us to an angry place. Is it going to be angry on the ship?”

“I hope not. Is that why you’re worried?”

“People yelled a lot an Mommy had us leave...and then you found us and you’re really nice, but I’m scared to leave cos what if it’s diff’rent?”

“What if what’s different? Wes, please tell me what’s on your mind?” The small boy crawled across the bed and sat in Jean-Luc’s lap.

“Daddy was nice to me too, but then he got mean.” Beverly stood in the door and tears came to her eyes as she listened to her son. She held her hand against her mouth and Jean-Luc tilted his head towards her. She shook her head and propped herself against the doorframe to listen. Shame and anger coursed through her as she heard her son tell his future step-father things he’d never even shared with her.  Her heart ached as Wesley spoke of being afraid of talking to her because she already had so much to feel sad about.  Not for the first time, she wondered how they could move past the abuse.  Wesley deserved a better life than he had had so far.

“I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. But I promise never to be mean to you or your mother. I might get upset, but I’ll never hurt you, ok? And if I do get upset, I promise to talk to you about it and explain why I’m upset.”

“Ok. Uncle Jean, am I a bad boy?” Jean-Luc heard Beverly’s stifled sob.

“Of course not, Wes. What makes you think that?”

“Daddy said I was bad and that’s why he yelled so much and sometimes hit Mommy. I don’t know what I did!”  Wesley’s voice rose as he became more emotional.  “Sometimes I wet the bed.  Is that why he said I was bad?  I didn’t mean to!” Jean-Luc smoothed down Wesley’s hair and kissed the top of his head.  

“I know you didn’t. And if you do, we’ll just change the sheets, alright?”

“You won’t yell?”

“I promise.” Jean-Luc motioned to Beverly standing in the doorway and when she walked over, he pulled her into his embrace with Wesley. “We’re a family now and I will always protect you. Both of you.”

They sat quietly for several minutes before Beverly reached out and stroked Wesley’s face.  Her precious little one looked up at her, and she smiled through her tears.

“I’m sorry you felt like you shouldn’t have talked to me before.  I didn’t know all of the mean things Daddy had said to you.”  Her voice broke and she wiped away some of her tears.  “You can always talk to me, alright?  Even if I’m sad, you can talk to me.”

“Ok.”  Wesley’s voice was small.

“I hate to make us all move, but we have to be at the transporter pad in just a little bit.”  Jean-Luc hugged his family closely for a moment.  “Can I help you pack, Wesley?”

“Yeah.”  The little boy looked around.  “I can take my toys?”

“Yep.  I’ve got room in my bag if you don’t.”

“Yeah, because you brought them to me.”

“Exactly, and the rest of your toys are waiting at our house for you.”

“Thank you.”  Beverly stood and left her boys to pack.  When they emerged, Jean-Luc lifted all of their bags and grasped her hand in his.  He looked down to Wesley. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Yep.”  The family walked of the house and Beverly turned to lock the door.  She took a moment to steady herself, preparing to walk away from another stage in their lives.  “Let’s go.”  She turned to her fiancé and gave him a tentative smile. 

“We’ll be ok.”  Jean-Luc took her hand once again, ready to face their future.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving into a new home, a meltdown, a marriage, and renewing friendships.

Jean-Luc opened the door to his apartment and stood to the side to let Beverly and Wesley go first. They walked in and Beverly’s eyes widened. Many of their belongings were in view, but much to her relief, nothing that had been Jack’s.

“Wesley, let me show you to your room.”  Jean-Luc smiled and took the little one’s hand.  “It’s right next to our bedroom.”

Wesley looked back to his mother, who smiled and nodded.  He started walking faster, doing his best to not make his uncle wait. He gasped when he saw his room, right before smiling. Jean-Luc let go of his hand and backed up to the door, standing with Beverly as they watched their child explore his new space.

“He’s so happy.” Beverly leaned against Jean-Luc’s shoulder.

“I hope we can always keep him like this.” He tugged Beverly forward and wrapped his arms around her waist as they continued watching Wesley. “I hope I can always keep you so happy.”

“Thank you for my room, Uncle Jean-Luc.”  Wesley grinned from his seat on the floor where he had three of his toys set out in a circle, as if they were having a meeting.

“You’re welcome.” Jean-Luc nodded. “I’m glad to have been able to get your room ready, son.”

“Wesley?” Beverly laced her fingers in Jean-Luc’s. “Remember how Uncle Jean-Luc told you we’d live with him now?”

“Yes?”

“He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Do you understand what that means?”

“I think so.” Wesley scrunched up his face. “We’ll live with Uncle Jean-Luc.”

“That’s right, we will.” Beverly smiled. “But we’ll also have his last name. I’ll become Picard, and we’ll change your name to be Picard, too.”

Wesley bit his lip and stood. His tiny brow furrowed as he tried to figure all of it out. “My name will be Wesley Picard?”

“Yes.” Jean-Luc smiled, hoping his child would be as excited as he was about the change. “When your Mommy and I get married, I’ll be your Daddy.”

“I don’t want you to be my Daddy!” Wesley’s face crumpled and hot, angry tears stood in his eyes. He looked at his mother as if she’d just betrayed him. “It’s not fair!”  He nearly screamed the words, and his parents quickly gathered him close and sat on the bed with him, comforting him as they tried to figure out why he was so upset about their marriage.

“Why don’t you want me to be your Daddy?”  Jean-Luc’s voice shook as he gently stroked the hair back from Wesley’s forehead.

“Daddies are mean and they hurt people!” Jean-Luc wrapped his arms tightly around his fiancée and their son.

“I am so sorry.” He pressed kisses to both of their heads. “Wesley, you don’t have to call me Daddy, ok?  I’ll be Uncle Jean-Luc forever if you need me to be.” Wesley nodded, and Jean-Luc felt relief course through him. “I promise, I’ll never hurt you.  Never.” Wesley looked at him, and Jean-Luc nodded.  “Remember when I promised you that at the cabin?”

“Yes.”

“That promise stays, no matter what you call me, ok?”

“Ok.” Wesley relaxed a little. “Will you and Mommy still get married?”

“Yes.” He nodded, and Beverly backed up a bit so she could look her son in his eyes.

“Are you alright if we get married?”

“Yes.” His chin shook. “I just don’t want a Daddy.”

“What about changing our names?”

“That’s ok.” Wesley nodded again. “We gotta have the same name to live together, right?” He looked over to his Uncle Jean.  “I want us to live together.”

“Then we will.”

“You know, Wesley,” Beverly pressed a kiss to her son’s hair. “We can make up a name for Uncle Jean-Luc, or we can choose another name, like Papa.”

“Papa?”

“Yes.” She rocked slowly back and forth. “You can still call him Uncle Jean-Luc, or you can call him Papa. Would you be alright with that, Jean-Luc?”

“I’d be delighted.” He ran his hand down Wesley’s hair again. “I’ll be happy with whatever you decide to call me.”

“Ok.” Wesley fell silent, staring off into space as he digested all of the new changes that were coming into his life. None of it was bad, in fact, all of it seemed good, but he was overwhelmed and wasn’t quite sure how to express himself.

“Is this all a little much, kiddo?”  Beverly’s voice was quiet, and he just nodded in reply. The three sat on his bed until he relaxed and fell asleep. When he woke up, he was tucked into bed and his door was open. He could hear laughter coming from another room and decided to stay where he was for a little bit.

He listened to the laughter and thought about how happy his Mommy had been in the last few days. Uncle Jean-Luc had always made her happy. _He always made me happy, too._ Wesley yawned and his thoughts turned to what to call his uncle. Papa was a nice word.

Wesley tiptoed out of his room and searched for his family. He found them sitting on the couch in the living room. Beverly was laying down with her head in Jean-Luc’s lap. He was reading a book, and while Wesley didn’t understand the words, he liked how his Mommy would sometimes smile bigger and laugh. He crept closer to them and froze when Jean-Luc looked at him.

“Good afternoon!” Jean-Luc put the book down. “Did you have a good nap?”

“Yes.” Wesley crawled up on the couch with his Mommy and rested on her. She patted his back, and he cuddled in to her. He smiled as she kissed his temple. “What was Papa reading?”

#####

Admiral Quinn smiled at the trio who stood before him. Jean-Luc had his arm wrapped protectively around Beverly's waist while Wesley was cuddled close into her, where she held him at her waist. The older Admiral winked at the little boy and held out a wrapped candy.   
  
Wesley looked at Beverly, obviously waiting for permission before timidly reaching out and taking the treat. He unwrapped it carefully and stuck it in his mouth. His eyes lit up at the new flavor.   
  
"What is it, Wesley?"   
  
"I don't know." The little one blushed and curled into his mother's shoulder. "It's yummy."   
  
"That, my boy, is butter rum. It was my favorite when I was your age." The door opened, and Quinn's secretary and Dr. Quaice entered.   
  
Beverly gasped and went to her mentor, hugging the man tightly. He enveloped Beverly and Wesley in a tight hug before reaching out to grasp Picard's hand.   
  
"Thank you for getting them to safety."   
  
"Thank you for going to find them." The older doctor's eyes twinkled. "What's this I hear about the need for a witness for a wedding?"  
  
Beverly blushed and looked over to her soon-to-be husband. "Jean-Luc asked me to marry him a couple of days ago."   
  
"Is it a little soon?"   
  
"No." Her voice was firm but still kind. "Jean-Luc is leaving on a mission, and we're going with him." She leaned her head to the side a bit, almost as if apologizing. "I know he's going to be good to us, Dalen." Her eyes turned misty. "He..."   
  
"You don't need to explain or defend your decision." Dalen patted her shoulder. "My only concern is that you are safe and happy."   
  
"We will be."   
  
"Patricia would love to be here. She's just downstairs in the lab. Could I call her up?"  
  
"Please." Beverly smiled brightly. "That's ok, isn't it?" She bit her lip nervously. "Are we taking too much of your time, Admiral?"  
  
"Not at all." Quinn smiled as Quaice contacted his wife. "Some events deserve more friends at them, and your wedding is one of them."  
  
Patricia Quaice sped into the room minutes later and swept Beverly into a tight hug. Wesley wrapped his arms around her neck as the trio hugged tightly.   
  
"I am so glad you're safe." The older woman backed away slightly. "How are you? Really?"  
  
"We're wonderful." Beverly felt as if her face would break from her smile.  "I didn't know if things would ever be ok again. But then Jean-Luc found us."  
  
"I'm so glad."   
  
Admiral Quinn cleared his throat and the small crowd in his office grew quiet. When he pronounced them husband and wife, Patricia reached over and plucked Wesley from his mother's arms, leaving her free to join her husband in a passionate kiss.  
  
When the couple separated, Patricia handed Wesley back, and Beverly hugged her little one close.   
  
"Guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Uncle Jean is your Papa now."  
  
"Really?" His eyes grew round. "Already?" He looked over to his new parent and grinned.  
  
"Beverly, Jean-Luc, Dalen and I would be happy to keep Wesley for the night."   
  
"What do you think, Beverly?"  
  
"It depends on Wesley." She helped him sit up a bit so she could see his face. "Honey, do you remember Dr. and Mrs. Quaice?" Wesley bit his lip before nodding. "Would you like to spend the night at their house?"   
  
"Noooo." Wesley whined and curled back into her shoulder.   
  
"Maybe another time." Beverly sent the Quaices an apologetic look before mouthing an apology to her husband.   
  
"It's ok." Jean-Luc ruffled Wesley's hair. "I think it's just been a little too much these past couple of days. Right, Wes?" Wesley nodded, but didn't look at anyone.   
  
####  
  
Beverly finished folding the laundry she’d refreshed in the reclamation unit while listening to the now-familiar sounds of her husband putting her son to bed.  Her husband.  The words still seemed impossible to believe.  
  
“He’s asleep.”  Jean-Luc came out of Wesley’s bedroom and kissed his wife.  "It's been a good day." He ran his finger over her wedding ring before smiling at her.  
  
“It’s not much of a wedding night.”  Beverly blushed.  "Wasn't much of a wedding day, either."  
  
“It was perfect.”  She closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss, opening her mouth when he silently asked permission.  Her unsteady fingers untucked his shirt and ran over his stomach. “Beverly?”  
  
"I want..." she looked away.  
  
"You lead." Her relieved smile was all he wanted. 

They teased one another through their shower, and Jean-Luc was delighted when she made the decision they’d start with oral. So far, they had not progressed beyond pleasing one another orally, but he knew she was doing what she was comfortable with. He’d wait for the day when she was ready for him to love her how he hoped.

He groaned as she shuddered through her first climax minutes later. He waited a moment before he began driving her towards another run-in with ecstasy.

“Jean-Luc.” Her voice was strained and she pushed against his head gently. He pulled back and looked up at her. “I need…” She bit her lip as she tugged his hands. “Come up here.”  With a smile, he did as his love asked, settling on her before kissing her deeply.

He felt her tense and rolled off to the side. “Tell me how to help you.” He kissed her as his hand roamed down her body. She guided him to the place she wanted to be touched, and he relished her moan of pleasure as he took her breast into his mouth.

Tears filled her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she paused before trying to explain herself. “He used to hold me down.” She closed her eyes against the pain she saw on his face. “I know you’re not…”

“I’m not Jack, but the fears are there.”

“Yes.” Her answer was whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I have an idea.” He sat back against the headboard and motioned for her to join him. “Will this work? You can move away now if you need to.”

Beverly didn’t speak but leaned forward to capture his mouth in a kiss before settling onto him. Their kiss ended as they both groaned at the contact. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment before releasing his grasp. He put one hand on her shoulder after lightly caressing her breast and the other went to her hip, helping her to create an even rhythm with him.

Beverly threw her head back with abandonment.  Jean-Luc leaned over and kissed her neck. “I love you,” he breathed against her neck. Jean-Luc kept his eyes open as he watched pleasure roll over Beverly’s face.  He knew he was getting close, but he didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t ready for. “Beverly, my love.  I need to....is it ok if I....”  She nodded and Jean-Luc’s eyes rolled back as he came, nearly shouting her name from his clenched teeth. She felt an unusual yet amazing sensation and leaned against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders as she rode out the experience she’d heard of yet had never had herself.

“You’re amazing.”  Jean-Luc kissed her desperately as she released her hold. She leaned back and smiled bashfully.

“Thank you for understanding.”  She bit his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck once again.  He moved his arms to wrap around her back and rested his head against her breasts.  

“No, Beverly....thank _you_.  Thank you for sharing this with me.  I love you.” 

“I love you too.  I never knew....” A tear escaped and Jean-Luc brushed it away with her thumb. “I’m sorry.”

“No, my love, you cry if you need to.”  Beverly shifted off him and Jean-Luc slid down the bed to hold her lightly.  He kissed her temple. “What do you want to do?”  

“Another shower?”  

“Whatever you want, my love.”

####  
  
Jean-Luc woke to the sound of his stepson playing in his room.  He kissed Beverly's shoulder before rising.  She sighed and hugged her pillow tighter, making him smile. He rose and watched his new son for several minutes before the boy realized he was there. Wesley froze and looked up guiltily.   
  
"Having fun?" Wesley nodded in response. "Which toys are your favorites?" Picard kept a smile on his face as he watched his little one reach for one toy, change his mind, and then reach for another. "You don't have to show me if you're afraid I'll hurt your toy." Jean-Luc watched his son relax, and his heart broke a little more. "We'll need to decide which toys to take when we leave next week, but we'll make sure all the others are here waiting for you when we come back, alright?"  
  
"I was too loud. I'm sorry." Wesley nervously bit his lip.   
  
"No, you weren't." Jean-Luc sat on the floor with him. "You were so quiet your Mommy is still sleeping." He picked up a small truck and drove it across the floor. “I haven’t played with a ground car like this in years. Do you know that my father drove one when I was your age?”

Wesley’s eyes lit up as Jean-Luc regaled him with stories from his childhood. Jean-Luc smiled at his son when the boy began yawning.

“Why don’t we get some more sleep?” Jean-Luc watched as Wesley jerked himself awake.

“I wanna listen to more stories.”

“How about you sleep more now, and I’ll tell you stories later?”

“Ok.” Wesley laid down, ready to fall asleep where he was.

“Let’s go to bed, son.”  Wesley’s response was to whine and curl in on himself. Jean-Luc picked him up and settled him back in his bed. Jean-Luc returned to his own bed and sat, glad his wife was still resting. He laid down and she shifted to fit herself against him tighter.

“Everything alright?” Her voice barely reached his ears. “I woke up and you were gone.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I heard Wesley, so I checked on him.”

“Is he alright? I should have woken up…”

“Shhh. He’s fine.” He pressed another kiss to her hair. “We played a bit and he’s sleeping again.”

“Hm.” Beverly sighed and relaxed once more. “Thank you.”  
  
#####  
  
Walker sighed as he glanced through his messages. No news from Jean-Luc. The last time he had spoken with his best friend, he was heading to an old lakeside cabin they had all rented once when Beverly was still a cadet. Walker wondered if it was futile and was beginning to worry that Jack actually had murdered his wife and son on his last visit home, as no one knew where Beverly was...not even his friends in Intelligence had been able to help. He fetched himself a cup of tea and settled back down to review the daily reports when his console went off with a call.

“Keel here.”

“Walker, glad I caught you.” Walker grinned at the screen.

“Johnny. I hope you have good news?” Jean-Luc nodded and moved to one side, revealing Beverly. She waved at her old friend.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Beverly,” Walker breathed out. “He found you! Are you ok? Is Wesley alright?” Beverly nodded.

“He’s...his injuries are healed.”

“If Jack wasn’t dead, I would....”

Beverly smiled at her old friend. “I know.”

“I feel a bit guilty that I introduced you now. I’m sorry, Beverly.”

“Don’t be.”

Beverly brushed her hair out of her face and Walker saw her ring. “Thought you would have thrown those away.”

“They’re not…” She cast a nervous look at Jean-Luc. “These aren’t from Jack.” Walker raised his eyebrows at his friend.

“Oh?”

“No, they’re from me,” Jean-Luc wrapped an arm around Beverly and Walker just gaped at his friends.

“You guys got married? Isn’t that...rushed?” Beverly shook her head. “Johnny, I love you, but can I talk to Bev alone?”

Jean-Luc nodded. “Sure. I’ll go check on Wesley.” He pressed a kiss to Beverly’s head before leaving his small office.

Walker peered at his friend. “Alright, Bev. Johnny isn’t here. Did he force you to marry him?”

Beverly rolled her eyes. “No. He asked me to marry him because he loves me.”

“And you?”

“I....think I can learn to love him.”

Walker levelled a look at his friend. “Beverly,” he began evenly. “Are you sure this is what you want? You just got away from Jack. I don’t want you to be hurt...”

“Do you honestly think Jean-Luc would hurt me?” Beverly stared back.

Walker shook his head. “No. he wouldn’t. I know he’s loved you for a long time. I’m sorry I had to ask.”

“You were just looking out for me. Thanks. Should I go get Jean-Luc again?”

“Yeah, I should probably apologize to him.”

“I think he’ll understand.”  Beverly gave him a watery smile and stood from her chair. “I’ll go get him for you.” She left the small office and called for Jean-Luc.

“Are you alright?” He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Yes.” She swallowed hard and nodded. “He just wanted to be sure I was being honest when I said you didn’t force me.”

“He’s looking out for you.”  Jean-Luc nodded. “I’m sorry if he upset you.”

“No.” She shook her head. “He has a good reason to ask.” Beverly swallowed hard once more. “I lied to the both of you so many times.”

“You had to.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment. “You aren’t a dishonest person, Beverly.” He met her gaze. “You did what you needed to in order to keep yourself as safe as possible and to protect your son.”

“But…”

“You didn’t do it to mislead anyone.”  Jean-Luc shook his head. “You survived.”  He smiled gently. “No one can blame you for that.”

“I can.”

“Then I’ll always be here to remind you that your past doesn’t define you.” He brushed the hair back from her face. “I better go talk to Wally before he thinks we forgot him.” Moments later, he was sitting in his chair once again, smiling at his long-time friend. “Beverly tells me you questioned her about marrying me.”

Wally opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jean-Luc raised his hand. “Thank you.” He smiled and relaxed a bit. “I appreciate you looking out for her.” He raised his eyebrows. “I trust you’ll continue doing so?” Walker Keel sat back and smiled at his friend before nodding.


End file.
